A few Summer Faves

Summer is just FLYING by, as always, and I can hardly believe that July is almost done! I don't want it to end!!!! We are having just a wonderful summer! We have had many days at the beach; which to be honest, we haven't done too often the past few summers. Which is crazy b/c we're so close to fabulous beaches!!! This year is just so much fun b/c Addy can walk and run and is just at that age where she is SO much fun!! Last year, she wasn't walking so it was tough to some things b/c I had to have a stroller or carry her or worry about what she was going to crawl in and now that she's on 2 feet, it's so much easier! Derek and I are really taking a step back and ENJOYING them this summer and I just love it!! Ethan has discovered how much fun it is to have a sibling, to have someone to play with whenever he wants. He really is a GREAT big brother -for the most part, he still has his non-sharing, me, me, me moments though. I just love listening to him talk to her like she understands just what he's saying. He's usually very patient with her and tries to explain or show her just what he wants her to do! And she just thinks he hung the moon. She just loves to be at his side, doing - or trying to do - whatever he's doing. It's too cute!

My little stinker! Full of personality! I love this picture, mostly she's getting such a kick out of touching my camera lens!

Here's Addy right next her big brother on Papa and Grandma Twinkle's boat for the 4th.

Ethan "driving" Papa's boat with Daddy and waving to everyone on the pier!

I Love this pic of Ethan. He is growing up so fast and he's so smart! He's quite a little lover these days too, and that just melts me! He'll tell me he loves me out of the blue or come up and kiss me and I just can't get enough of it!

Confession

So, my last post was titled 'Loving Life' , and while that is very true, I have a confession to make. I am trying NOT to take life for granted, trying to find happiness in all the things that surround me, no matter how trivial they may be because I have recently been reminded of how precious life is, far too many times this year.
A friend of mine from work (who is just a few yrs older then me) was diagnosed with breast cancer around a yr ago and very courageously battled and WON her fight! It was difficult for me to even talk to her w/o crying at first. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to say it. I couldn't begin to imagine what was going through her mind....CANCER...in your 30's with a husband and 2 young kids. It hit home....hard. That could be me, and I know I shouldn't dwell on the "what-if's", but it was hard to fathom. So, she began a blog as an outlet for her and I followed it. Almost always crying as I read her blog. Her thoughts were real, she was inspiring and optimistic, and yet I cried b/c I couldn't see myself having such tremendous strength with the card she was delt. Then, I started following some of the blogs that she was following, (Yes, I'm a bit of a stalker I guess) and found more inspiration, among more sadness. Then, I would stop following for a while b/c I couldn't help breaking down every time I read them. About 1 1/2 months ago, I caught back up on Brian and Kristi's blog (one of my friend's friend) and found out that her cancer had returned with a vengeance and she had chosen to stop chemo and enter Hospice. She was in her late 30's, had an amazing, loving husband, and 3 young children. I followed her blog daily, and it was usually her husband posting b/c she had become to weak to post herself, and was just in awe of him and in awe of THEM. Their strength, their courage, their Faith! I do not know this family at all, but felt like I did and was deeply saddened when Kristi passed.
So, this is my confession, my kids and these AMAZING women are my inspiration. I DO love my life and everything in it, I DO love being a wife and a mom and a nurse! I have to change my petty ways. I want to be a better friend then I am, I want to be a better Christian (I don't even know if I can call myself a Christian anymore. I've gotten so off track). THEY are the reason that I must find happiness in everything around me, no matter how difficult it may be, no matter what the struggle. There. I said it, I mean it and I'm stickin' to it!

Loving Life!

I am truly "Loving Life" right now! I cannot believe how much of a difference 3 and 4 is! Ethan is MUCH more pleasant now! I know that sounds terrible, like he wasn't pleasant before and that's not exactly true, but now you can actually reason with him! He is just so sweet now too! He'll tell me, out of the blue, "mom, I just love you". I never tire of hearing those sweet words come out of his sweet little mouth! He's also a great big brother to Addy. I think he's starting to realize that she's kind of fun to have around. He's always talking to her (like she understands him) and telling her to do things. Usually she just follows him where ever he goes and does whatever he does! He's also so good about trying to get her to stop crying. Like if she's upset that we're changing her diaper or whatever, he'll take it upon himself and go grab a toy for her or something. It's so sweet! I just love watching them interact together, and hearing his little conversations with her! I hope they continue to play this well together! :)

Addison is just as sweet as ever! She's really starting to say a lot now and it's fun to hear how she tries to repeat us and how it comes out! Ethan loves to try to get her say things too! Like when we say "Hi" to her she'll say "Hi Dah"! I'm not sure why she say's dah, we think maybe she's saying Hi There, but who knows! She also says bye-bye, baby, shoes (which is too cute the way she says it), she's starting to say nite-nite or nah-nie, Ah-choo! I'm sure there's some that I'm forgetting, but I just love both of the ages and stages these guys are in! It's so much fun....but it's going SO fast!!!
Obviously, all of the pictures are from the spring since I didn't take the time to post anything! Shocker! I really thought I was going to better about blogging this time around! It's not that I don't enjoy doing it, b/c I really do. Anyway, moving on.... I have successfully lost a little over 20lbs since Jan and I am so proud of myself! I feel so much better and it's so much fun to see the clothes that I wore last summer, hang on me this summer....but, I'm also disappointed in myself that I've lost my groove so to speak. I honestly have a good 10 to 15 more lbs that I NEED to lose and I've totally been a slacker! I hardly work out anymore, I still eat quite well during the day, but I definitely splurge more then I should at night! Then, I go to bed feeling awful about what I ate or how much I ate! I even made a bet with Derek (about 5lbs ago) to try to get me inspired again and that hasn't really even worked! I mean, I'm still losing but very, very slowly. Not nearly at the rate I did initially and I know why and I just seem to get my ass in gear! The bet with Derek was if I lose another 15lbs, then he had to quit smoking. Which he AGREED too, we even shook on it!!!! I want him to quite smoking so bad and for so many reasons..... Before, I was getting up early, like 5 or 5:30 am to work out in the basement. I did Insanity, which is just that - INSANE! But, it worked and I loved sweating buckets b/c I felt like I was really burning! Then I could still shower and get ready for work, or have some time to myself before the kids got up...it was perfect except for that 5am part. Somehow, I got out of my routine about 2 months ago, and I just can't seem to make myself get up to do it! It doesn't help that Ethan climbs in bed with me when I don't have to work and I just LOVE snuggling with him! Plus, it buys me another 30mins of sleep! Ugh! I need to stop rambling, and just get it back together...right?!!!!!

So, the kids were fairly cooperative for me to put Dutch costumes on them for a few pictures at Tulip Time. Well, I had to bribe Ethan and then hope for the best with Addy. They did great at first, and so many tourists wanted to take picture of them and as soon as a stranger would try to talk to them they'd act like little brats! Slightly embarrassing, but I probably don't have to worry about either one of them going off with a stranger!!! We went out for brunch on Easter and Ethan was literally petrified of the Easter Bunny, but Addy walked right up to him! Well, we having so much fun this summer, it's so much better now that Addy can walk, what a difference that is! We've already ventured out to the beach several times and they love it! I love just watching them play and explore! I'm so thankful that I am able to work part time so I can enjoy them! I don't have the house that I want and we are definitely on a budget, but it's so worth it to me!!

Ethan is 4!!!!

I'm still pinching myself that Ethan is 4! I really can hardly believe that 4 years have gone by since he came into our lives. I feel like I can still remember every little detail of his birth, and hear that amazing cry when he was born, and counting his fingers and toes, and just staring in awe of this little miracle that we have been blessed with. It truly does go by so fast. I miss the baby stages and all of the excitement that goes with them, but I have found it true what people told me "it just keeps getting better". I think we have finally started to get out of the "terrible 3's", however we have traded tantrums for attitude and back talking! Fortunately, with this new "maturity", has also come the ability to reason. He's also just thriving in pre-school, which is wonderful. In fact, Derek and I wonder if he acts out out of boredom, that we're just not stimulating his mind enough. He amazes us with his memory and how quickly he picks up new things. He loves to "help" us with more things now. Laundry is still a favorite. He loads the washer, puts in the soap and fabric softener, and then puts all the clothes in the dryer. Now, if I could only get him to fold them and put them away!! Now, he loves to "help" us cook, especially Derek. He's also become a big fan of vacuuming, which is funny because he used to be deathly afraid of it! Derek and I have also moved from being "Mommy and Daddy" to Mom and Dad. Neither one of us saw it coming, nor do we like it! I'm boycotting it, I still refer to myself as mommy and to Derek as daddy. He will almost always correct me though. "You mean Dad, Mom". Just because he's 4, now he gets to drop the mommy and daddy??? I'm not ready for that!

Addy was quite the little ham at the birthday party. It was just the cutest. I was really surprised at how funny she was!

Ethan got a GATOR for his birthday. We split it with Grandma Twinkle and Papa. Bonnie and I could hardly contain our excitement for him to see it. His last present was a little egg with a message inside. We sent him on a little scavenger hunt all over the house, ending in the garage where the Gator was waiting with a bow on it! He loved the scavenger hung almost as much as the Gator! Of course it rained all day, but we got lucky with a very short stop in the rain so he could try it out!

He's got wheels!

He took Addy for a little spin too, but she wanted nothing to with riding on it! She hopped off right away!

Ethan wanted to make his cake this year and at first he said he wanted a "brown cake with green frosting". Easy enough, right! Well, then the day of the party, he said he wanted a frog cake. I still thought I could do it, so I looked up some "frog cakes" on the Internet and he saw this one and said that it was the one he wanted. Now, I realize that neck is a little long....but I'm pretty proud of how it turned out! Considering I'm no Martha Stewart!

Ethan also got a really cool basket ball hoop from Grandma Geeka and Papa Rich! Here he is playing in the box!

It's been a long Winter

Winter started out fun for everyone. We couldn't wait to get outside with the kids and play in the snow! They loved it! I was surprised how much Addy liked it, despite hardly being able to walk in all of her snow gear! She was a trooper though and kept getting back up! She was so cute! They loved being pulled in the sled and Ethan was such a great big brother letting her sit on his lap so they could both ride in the same sled. It was a great work-out for me pulling them too!

But, along with the snow, the season brought colds - one after another! With Ethan being in school this year, he was exposed to a plethora of bugs that he hadn't been before and it seemed like he got EVERYTHING!! Which, of course, meant so did Addison and sometimes Derek and I. Uggh! For a while, I would send Ethan to school on Tue and he'd be to sick or running a fever by Thur so I had to call in for him, then he'd get better over the weekend and I'd send him back on Tue and he'd have something else by Thur again! It was awful! It seemed to get better after Christmas, but now we're back at it again! It seems like we just keep passing it around our house!! I can't wait to open the house up and de-bug!!!

I just HATE it when the kids are sick, but they have both been troopers for the most part. Ethan tried to convince me that he was all better so he could go back to school a few times. He is really thriving in school! I am so glad that I didn't wait to send him. We just had his parent/teacher conference this week and Mrs. Saur had nothing but good things to say about him. She said that he is a "joy to have in class", "really enjoys being in preschool", and "is very polite". He's even advanced in some areas for his age, which is really neat to hear! Next year he'll be going 3 days a week and I know he'll love that. He gets frustrated over the weekend when he can't go to school. He is definitely one that needs to be engaged all the time and Derek and I just can't do that all the time. It has been frustrating at times b/c I feel like I'm neglecting Addison half the day, b/c he requires so much attention to do things and if I don't engage him in something constructive, he acts out. Either on the dogs, Addison, or just destroying his toys/the house! Another reason I can't wait for spring so we can be outside more!!!!



Addison is all girl already! I can tell such a big difference in her interests and actions compared to Ethan at this age. She is already a little diva! She LOVES to wear necklaces! It's so cute when she finds them, b/c she doesn't know how to put them over her head yet, so she tucks them under chin (b/c she knows they're supposed to be hanging in front of her) and walks around like that! I get such a kick out of it! She's also saying a few things and trying to say lots! She says "baby", for her bunny and her little baby doll that she sleeps with (they are both baby). And she says "uh-oh". Which is super cute. I usually hear her saying "uh-oh" on the monitor when she wakes up. She's also saying "bye-bye" sometimes, but she definitely knows what it means! If she's anyone getting their boots on, she goes to get her boots and brings them to you. She loves to go bye-bye, just like her brother. But, unlike her brother at this age, she LOVES to watch tv! She'd probably sit there all day if I let her! Ethan was always way to busy for TV at this age.

Ethan's latest favorites are pretending to play house. He has several play vacuums, and he loves to vaccume. He makes the sound and everything. He even picks up all of his toys off the carpet so he can "clean". He also is very into "helping" Derek and I with EVERYTHING - from making dinner, to laundry, to shoveling. He'll do anything and loves to learn how to do it. It's really fun to see him get excited to learn something new and to see his imagination really starting to take off. I love all the ideas he comes up with!



I found this lime green and pink tutu on-line the other day and I just could NOT resist it! When it came in, I put it on her and she had fun walking around with it for about a minute, then she went off to play. It was so funny b/c the first thing she grabbed to play with was one of Ethan's trucks! I thought it was too cute, "A Truck and a Tutu"! Her little personality is really starting to come out and she is so sweet. I can't wait to see all the new things she does, although it makes me sad b/c she's growing up and changing so fast!!! I wish I could slow it down a little. But, I'm trying not to go there and trying to live in the moment! Speaking of which, time to play with my babies!

New Year, New Me?

What a busy Jan! I can't believe it's gone already! I can't believe I'm 34!!! Every year that I have been overweight, I feel like I'm "wasting time". I want to anything and everything with my kids, I don't want my weight, or how self conscious I am about it, to slow me down from doing whatever they want to do, and if I let it go any longer, it will! I don't want to be the FAT mom waddling to pick my kids up from school, that they're embarrassed to be seen with! So, this year, I am more motivated then ever to FINALLY shed all of this extra weight!! A few people from work organized their version of The Biggest Loser for the past few yrs now and I haven't "qualified" to be in it until this year (You have to be at least 3months postpartum and NOT breastfeeding). So, this year I joined. We all had to put in $20, get a starting weight and measurements, and every week we weigh in. If we gain any weight, we must pay in $5. At the end of 8wks, whoever looses the most weight splits the pot with whoever loses the most inches. To be honest, I'm not in it for the money, but it's really holding me accountable b/c I don't want to pay in! So far, I haven't had to! With that being said, I'm still a little frustrated that I haven't lost more lb's! I've really only lost about 7lbs in 4 1/2 weeks!! I feel like as hard as I'm working out and eating right, it should be at least 15lbs by now!!! I can tell I've lost inches, but I want to see that scale move!!! I've been doing the Insanity program by Beach Body, and I really like it. It's a very intense workout 6 days a week, with low carb, high protein diet, which I have been really sticking to. I'm supposed to eat 5 300-400 calorie meals a day, and to be honest, I have a hard time getting all of them in! I'm not hungry, which is the best part! At first, I was really sore, but now the workouts are getting easier for me, just in time for them to get more intense! This week I start the 2nd half of the program, where the workouts go from 45mins, to 1hr and 15mins! I'm ready....I think! I'm ready to start seeing some obvious results is what I'm ready for! I will admit, I usually only 5 workouts a week, it's just so hard some days to get up at 5 or 6am. I really have to do it before the kids get up so I have time to shower etc..., especially if we're going to do anything that day or if I have to work! I'm going to do this, I'm going do this!! I'm going to....right?! Ugh! I think I just need a pep talk today....I'm frustrated that I'm not "the incredible shrinking woman" by now!

Derek has been very supportive, which makes a huge difference! He's even been willing to have some of my "diet" meals and has really liked them! Ha! Imagine that! I told him, if he starts losing weight b/c I'm cooking better dinners, he better not tell me! He says he can see I've lost weight in my face...I don't see it, I really can't even tell my clothes are fitting better, except that my bras are getting a little too big....why is that the only place I can see an obvious difference!!!

Okay, done venting, time to make a protein shake! Mmmmmm! :)

Tribute to Grandma Nita and Papa Bob

That's what Nate and I called them. Most of the younger grandkids called them Oma and Papa. I am flooded with so many fond of memories of them. One that stands out for me is when they were living in Appleton, WI (that's where they lived as we were growing up) Grandpa's church there was Immanuel Baptist. I remember it was a very long drive, like 7hrs, so my parents would often leave in the middle of the night and put us, still asleep, in the back of the station wagen. Can you imagine, not putting us in a car seat?! Ha! Anyway, we were always so excited to get there and they would welcome us with open arms! After we got settled, Grandpa would always have a little story time with Nate and I. Grandpa would lay in the middle of the bed and Nate and I would be on either side of him and he would tell us amazing Bible stories. Always in so much detail (I think he always added a few details of his own too!), it seemed like they would go on forever, but he always kept our attention. We just loved listening to his Bible stories. If anyone knew my grandpa, you know he could NEVER tell a short story... or prayer for that matter!!

Since we were usually there for a Holiday, Grandma was always busy getting things ready, but she ALWAYS made time to play with us. She LOVED puzzles and games so we would do a lot of those with her. She also always made sure to have our favorite foods. If anyone knows Nate and I, you know we LOVE cheese! What better place for us to then WI! Grandma would always have plenty of cheese curds for us! It was the only place you could get cheese curds (that we know of anyway).

Being a Pastor's wife, Grandma had to be VERY patient, and that she was. I'm not sure I knew a more patient person. I think that's where her love for crosswords and word searches began! She had those books everywhere! Whenever she had to wait for Papa, she would just pull one out and sit quietly. She was so giving and forgiving, she tried to find the good in everyone, tried to accept everyone too. My Uncle Jim told an awesome story of her at the funeral. He said he was in about 5th grade and Grandpa had recently ministered to a pretty hard core biker and he accepted the Lord as his Savior. Soon, he went to Grandpa's church, but a lot people gave him "the look" b/c he came dressed like a biker. Well, after church as Papa was shaking hands with everyone and talking outside the church, Grandma went to talk with the biker. She said she'd really like to see his bike and he was excited and said "are you sure Mrs. Kimber? She said yes, and that she'd also really like to go for a ride sometime. He said he didn't think she'd really want to do that and she said, "you know what, take me for a ride right now please". He kept saying "I don't Mrs. Kimber, are you sure, what about your dress?". Well, Grandma got on his Harley side-saddle and went riding in front of the church with most of the congregation AND Papa watching in disbelief and she went by waving with a big smile on her face! I had never heard that story about her before, but I can TOTALLY see her doing that. She wanted to be sure EVERYONE felt accepted in her presence.

Derek and I were the last people that Grandpa married and I am SO proud that he married me. I feel so honored. Even though he went quite a bit longer then I wanted, it means that much more to me now! I caught our bestman, Brent outside at the reception poking fun of how long the message was, he said "and now we'll read from psalms 1-247"! Well, Grandpa did read a lot from Psalms, but not the whole thing! He was so cute, after he pronounced us, he hurried down to sit by Grandma so he could congratulate us as "Grandpa" too!

I think I could go on for a long time, and I hope that I never forget all of these fond memories and meaningful life lessons they have instilled in us. They were so in love with each other, they were always teasing each other. Grandma was always giving Grandpa a hard time. About 3 months before he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, it was like he knew it was coming. It was Thanksgiving and we were all gathered and Jim and Anjee's for dinner, after dinner Grandpa said he'd like to have a devotional with us all, which was not uncommon, but what he read and said, was all about caring for your parents, caring for the elderly and he got very emotional, which he didn't do when he was having devotions. He was really speaking from his heart and he expressed how he worried about being a burden to his children, etc... which really broke all of our hearts to hear him so emotional. It was really strange, like he knew what was coming. Shortly after his diagnoses, his mind/memory declined really fast. It was almost like I didn't have time to process it before he (his mind) was gone. Putting him in a nursing home was the hardest decision my Grandma had to make, and as much as she said "I can't do it, I can't put him in a nursing home". She would also say "but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". That was her favorite verse, her "signature" verse. My mom and my aunt Anjee made sure to take her to see him several times a week. I would go when I could, but to be honest, I thought about going, more then I actually went. I cried every time I went. It just made me so sad that he didn't know me or wouldn't know my kids and my kids wouldn't know him. Long after he didn't recognize me, and then mom, he still recognized Grandma. She was always relieved when she knew he knew her. He'd say, "here's my sweetie", or "this is my wife". About a year ago is when he really stopped recognizing everyone. I know that broke Grandma's heart. But she went on, still getting out as much as she could, welcoming visits etc.

In Oct, Grandma had a major stroke, it affected her entire L side. It was devastating, but we all had really high hopes that she would do well since it hadn't affected her mind. She still knew everything and was able talk, although a little slurred. She had trouble swallowing and choked often. Soon after moving her to Freedom Village for rehab, they opted to place a feeding tube. Hoping it was temporary, that as she got her strength back we'd be able to take it back out and she could eat again. On Dec 10, Grandma vomited and aspirated into her lungs, her oxygen levels were really low and they sent her to the ER priority 1. Thankfully, I was able to get updates from my co-workers, b/c I couldn't get there right away. I finally was able to make it up to see her after she had been admitted. Uncle Jim said he was going to spend the night with her. I got there around 9pm. She was sitting up, still had a non-rebreather on. It killed me to see her. It had been a couple weeks since I had visited her at FV, and she looked so much weaker and frailer, she could hardly speak, she couldn't even lift her R arm, which was her good arm!! It killed me, she woke up soon after I arrived and had such a sad look in her eyes. I asked her if she knew who I was and she said nodded yes. I asked if I could get her anything, if she was comfortable and the only thing she would say is "help me". I broke down crying b/c I knew what she meant. I knew she didn't want to live like this, I knew she was ready go home. As hard as it was for me to accept this, I knew that this was what SHE wanted. And a few days later they gave her the option of going into Hospice and removing her feeding tube, she very readily said "yes". Two days after we moved her into Hospice and she was no longer getting any food or fluids, Grandpa suddenly stopped eating. We couldn't believe it, no one had even been to see him since Grandma had been in the hospital, not that he would know what we were saying anyway, but once again, it was like he just knew. All 5 kids were here to be with Grandma as she passed and that was so nice. I was so glad they were ALL here. Most of the grandkids were able to come say goodbye to Grandma as well. It was so hard to see her, and I didn't go the last 2 days she was alive, I had said my goodbye and I told her it was okay for her to go. I didn't want to see her look worse. All 5 kids were in the room when she took her final breath on Dec 19. A few hrs before she passed, we received another phone call from Grandpa's nurse at Oak Crest. She said Grandpa started having this uncontrollable shaking, he shook so hard that he fell out of bed. She said they call this "the death rattle". That this is what usually happens a day or so before dementia pt's pass away. This really broke my heart, b/c it sounded like he was suffering and I so didn't want that for him! They were able to get him calmed down with medication though. Tue Dec 21, I was working and mom called to say that Grandpa didn't wake up today, his breathing was labored and he was starting to mottle. Since this is how Grandma looked hours before she passed, we knew he was going to be with her. I went straight there after work and Mom, Nate, and I were with Grandpa his last few hrs. Nate read some wonderful passages in the Bible and mom and I just sobbed through it all. What he read was so fitting. I took mom home around 8p, went home to tuck the kids in and planned on going back to be with Grandpa until he passed, but Nate called and said he passed about 30mins after we left. I was said that I wasn't there, but glad Nate was with him.

Phew, what whirlwind the past couple weeks were! It was really hard that it was Christmas time too. It was hard to feel "in the spirit", but yet they would certainly want us to celebrate their lives and celebrate the birth of Jesus. We were able to have a double visitation and a double funeral. My mom and aunts worked so hard getting all the pictures together and and everything. I couldn't believe we were burrying them together, but then again, I had a feeling when Grandma had her stroke that they would go together. 65 years of marriage, they did everything together, and just wasn't about to go to Heaven without doing it together! Pretty amazing.

I end my marathon blog post with Grandpa's "signature" verse. It really was too, anything we EVER got from them, cards, a bible, devotionals, or just a note to say hello, he always signed his name and underneath his name wrote Pov 3: 5,6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight". I will always love you Grandma Nita and Papa Bob and look forward to the day we see each other again.