New Year, New Me?

What a busy Jan! I can't believe it's gone already! I can't believe I'm 34!!! Every year that I have been overweight, I feel like I'm "wasting time". I want to anything and everything with my kids, I don't want my weight, or how self conscious I am about it, to slow me down from doing whatever they want to do, and if I let it go any longer, it will! I don't want to be the FAT mom waddling to pick my kids up from school, that they're embarrassed to be seen with! So, this year, I am more motivated then ever to FINALLY shed all of this extra weight!! A few people from work organized their version of The Biggest Loser for the past few yrs now and I haven't "qualified" to be in it until this year (You have to be at least 3months postpartum and NOT breastfeeding). So, this year I joined. We all had to put in $20, get a starting weight and measurements, and every week we weigh in. If we gain any weight, we must pay in $5. At the end of 8wks, whoever looses the most weight splits the pot with whoever loses the most inches. To be honest, I'm not in it for the money, but it's really holding me accountable b/c I don't want to pay in! So far, I haven't had to! With that being said, I'm still a little frustrated that I haven't lost more lb's! I've really only lost about 7lbs in 4 1/2 weeks!! I feel like as hard as I'm working out and eating right, it should be at least 15lbs by now!!! I can tell I've lost inches, but I want to see that scale move!!! I've been doing the Insanity program by Beach Body, and I really like it. It's a very intense workout 6 days a week, with low carb, high protein diet, which I have been really sticking to. I'm supposed to eat 5 300-400 calorie meals a day, and to be honest, I have a hard time getting all of them in! I'm not hungry, which is the best part! At first, I was really sore, but now the workouts are getting easier for me, just in time for them to get more intense! This week I start the 2nd half of the program, where the workouts go from 45mins, to 1hr and 15mins! I'm ready....I think! I'm ready to start seeing some obvious results is what I'm ready for! I will admit, I usually only 5 workouts a week, it's just so hard some days to get up at 5 or 6am. I really have to do it before the kids get up so I have time to shower etc..., especially if we're going to do anything that day or if I have to work! I'm going to do this, I'm going do this!! I'm going to....right?! Ugh! I think I just need a pep talk today....I'm frustrated that I'm not "the incredible shrinking woman" by now!

Derek has been very supportive, which makes a huge difference! He's even been willing to have some of my "diet" meals and has really liked them! Ha! Imagine that! I told him, if he starts losing weight b/c I'm cooking better dinners, he better not tell me! He says he can see I've lost weight in my face...I don't see it, I really can't even tell my clothes are fitting better, except that my bras are getting a little too big....why is that the only place I can see an obvious difference!!!

Okay, done venting, time to make a protein shake! Mmmmmm! :)