Confession

So, my last post was titled 'Loving Life' , and while that is very true, I have a confession to make. I am trying NOT to take life for granted, trying to find happiness in all the things that surround me, no matter how trivial they may be because I have recently been reminded of how precious life is, far too many times this year.
A friend of mine from work (who is just a few yrs older then me) was diagnosed with breast cancer around a yr ago and very courageously battled and WON her fight! It was difficult for me to even talk to her w/o crying at first. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to say it. I couldn't begin to imagine what was going through her mind....CANCER...in your 30's with a husband and 2 young kids. It hit home....hard. That could be me, and I know I shouldn't dwell on the "what-if's", but it was hard to fathom. So, she began a blog as an outlet for her and I followed it. Almost always crying as I read her blog. Her thoughts were real, she was inspiring and optimistic, and yet I cried b/c I couldn't see myself having such tremendous strength with the card she was delt. Then, I started following some of the blogs that she was following, (Yes, I'm a bit of a stalker I guess) and found more inspiration, among more sadness. Then, I would stop following for a while b/c I couldn't help breaking down every time I read them. About 1 1/2 months ago, I caught back up on Brian and Kristi's blog (one of my friend's friend) and found out that her cancer had returned with a vengeance and she had chosen to stop chemo and enter Hospice. She was in her late 30's, had an amazing, loving husband, and 3 young children. I followed her blog daily, and it was usually her husband posting b/c she had become to weak to post herself, and was just in awe of him and in awe of THEM. Their strength, their courage, their Faith! I do not know this family at all, but felt like I did and was deeply saddened when Kristi passed.
So, this is my confession, my kids and these AMAZING women are my inspiration. I DO love my life and everything in it, I DO love being a wife and a mom and a nurse! I have to change my petty ways. I want to be a better friend then I am, I want to be a better Christian (I don't even know if I can call myself a Christian anymore. I've gotten so off track). THEY are the reason that I must find happiness in everything around me, no matter how difficult it may be, no matter what the struggle. There. I said it, I mean it and I'm stickin' to it!