Tribute to Grandma Nita and Papa Bob

That's what Nate and I called them. Most of the younger grandkids called them Oma and Papa. I am flooded with so many fond of memories of them. One that stands out for me is when they were living in Appleton, WI (that's where they lived as we were growing up) Grandpa's church there was Immanuel Baptist. I remember it was a very long drive, like 7hrs, so my parents would often leave in the middle of the night and put us, still asleep, in the back of the station wagen. Can you imagine, not putting us in a car seat?! Ha! Anyway, we were always so excited to get there and they would welcome us with open arms! After we got settled, Grandpa would always have a little story time with Nate and I. Grandpa would lay in the middle of the bed and Nate and I would be on either side of him and he would tell us amazing Bible stories. Always in so much detail (I think he always added a few details of his own too!), it seemed like they would go on forever, but he always kept our attention. We just loved listening to his Bible stories. If anyone knew my grandpa, you know he could NEVER tell a short story... or prayer for that matter!!

Since we were usually there for a Holiday, Grandma was always busy getting things ready, but she ALWAYS made time to play with us. She LOVED puzzles and games so we would do a lot of those with her. She also always made sure to have our favorite foods. If anyone knows Nate and I, you know we LOVE cheese! What better place for us to then WI! Grandma would always have plenty of cheese curds for us! It was the only place you could get cheese curds (that we know of anyway).

Being a Pastor's wife, Grandma had to be VERY patient, and that she was. I'm not sure I knew a more patient person. I think that's where her love for crosswords and word searches began! She had those books everywhere! Whenever she had to wait for Papa, she would just pull one out and sit quietly. She was so giving and forgiving, she tried to find the good in everyone, tried to accept everyone too. My Uncle Jim told an awesome story of her at the funeral. He said he was in about 5th grade and Grandpa had recently ministered to a pretty hard core biker and he accepted the Lord as his Savior. Soon, he went to Grandpa's church, but a lot people gave him "the look" b/c he came dressed like a biker. Well, after church as Papa was shaking hands with everyone and talking outside the church, Grandma went to talk with the biker. She said she'd really like to see his bike and he was excited and said "are you sure Mrs. Kimber? She said yes, and that she'd also really like to go for a ride sometime. He said he didn't think she'd really want to do that and she said, "you know what, take me for a ride right now please". He kept saying "I don't Mrs. Kimber, are you sure, what about your dress?". Well, Grandma got on his Harley side-saddle and went riding in front of the church with most of the congregation AND Papa watching in disbelief and she went by waving with a big smile on her face! I had never heard that story about her before, but I can TOTALLY see her doing that. She wanted to be sure EVERYONE felt accepted in her presence.

Derek and I were the last people that Grandpa married and I am SO proud that he married me. I feel so honored. Even though he went quite a bit longer then I wanted, it means that much more to me now! I caught our bestman, Brent outside at the reception poking fun of how long the message was, he said "and now we'll read from psalms 1-247"! Well, Grandpa did read a lot from Psalms, but not the whole thing! He was so cute, after he pronounced us, he hurried down to sit by Grandma so he could congratulate us as "Grandpa" too!

I think I could go on for a long time, and I hope that I never forget all of these fond memories and meaningful life lessons they have instilled in us. They were so in love with each other, they were always teasing each other. Grandma was always giving Grandpa a hard time. About 3 months before he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, it was like he knew it was coming. It was Thanksgiving and we were all gathered and Jim and Anjee's for dinner, after dinner Grandpa said he'd like to have a devotional with us all, which was not uncommon, but what he read and said, was all about caring for your parents, caring for the elderly and he got very emotional, which he didn't do when he was having devotions. He was really speaking from his heart and he expressed how he worried about being a burden to his children, etc... which really broke all of our hearts to hear him so emotional. It was really strange, like he knew what was coming. Shortly after his diagnoses, his mind/memory declined really fast. It was almost like I didn't have time to process it before he (his mind) was gone. Putting him in a nursing home was the hardest decision my Grandma had to make, and as much as she said "I can't do it, I can't put him in a nursing home". She would also say "but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". That was her favorite verse, her "signature" verse. My mom and my aunt Anjee made sure to take her to see him several times a week. I would go when I could, but to be honest, I thought about going, more then I actually went. I cried every time I went. It just made me so sad that he didn't know me or wouldn't know my kids and my kids wouldn't know him. Long after he didn't recognize me, and then mom, he still recognized Grandma. She was always relieved when she knew he knew her. He'd say, "here's my sweetie", or "this is my wife". About a year ago is when he really stopped recognizing everyone. I know that broke Grandma's heart. But she went on, still getting out as much as she could, welcoming visits etc.

In Oct, Grandma had a major stroke, it affected her entire L side. It was devastating, but we all had really high hopes that she would do well since it hadn't affected her mind. She still knew everything and was able talk, although a little slurred. She had trouble swallowing and choked often. Soon after moving her to Freedom Village for rehab, they opted to place a feeding tube. Hoping it was temporary, that as she got her strength back we'd be able to take it back out and she could eat again. On Dec 10, Grandma vomited and aspirated into her lungs, her oxygen levels were really low and they sent her to the ER priority 1. Thankfully, I was able to get updates from my co-workers, b/c I couldn't get there right away. I finally was able to make it up to see her after she had been admitted. Uncle Jim said he was going to spend the night with her. I got there around 9pm. She was sitting up, still had a non-rebreather on. It killed me to see her. It had been a couple weeks since I had visited her at FV, and she looked so much weaker and frailer, she could hardly speak, she couldn't even lift her R arm, which was her good arm!! It killed me, she woke up soon after I arrived and had such a sad look in her eyes. I asked her if she knew who I was and she said nodded yes. I asked if I could get her anything, if she was comfortable and the only thing she would say is "help me". I broke down crying b/c I knew what she meant. I knew she didn't want to live like this, I knew she was ready go home. As hard as it was for me to accept this, I knew that this was what SHE wanted. And a few days later they gave her the option of going into Hospice and removing her feeding tube, she very readily said "yes". Two days after we moved her into Hospice and she was no longer getting any food or fluids, Grandpa suddenly stopped eating. We couldn't believe it, no one had even been to see him since Grandma had been in the hospital, not that he would know what we were saying anyway, but once again, it was like he just knew. All 5 kids were here to be with Grandma as she passed and that was so nice. I was so glad they were ALL here. Most of the grandkids were able to come say goodbye to Grandma as well. It was so hard to see her, and I didn't go the last 2 days she was alive, I had said my goodbye and I told her it was okay for her to go. I didn't want to see her look worse. All 5 kids were in the room when she took her final breath on Dec 19. A few hrs before she passed, we received another phone call from Grandpa's nurse at Oak Crest. She said Grandpa started having this uncontrollable shaking, he shook so hard that he fell out of bed. She said they call this "the death rattle". That this is what usually happens a day or so before dementia pt's pass away. This really broke my heart, b/c it sounded like he was suffering and I so didn't want that for him! They were able to get him calmed down with medication though. Tue Dec 21, I was working and mom called to say that Grandpa didn't wake up today, his breathing was labored and he was starting to mottle. Since this is how Grandma looked hours before she passed, we knew he was going to be with her. I went straight there after work and Mom, Nate, and I were with Grandpa his last few hrs. Nate read some wonderful passages in the Bible and mom and I just sobbed through it all. What he read was so fitting. I took mom home around 8p, went home to tuck the kids in and planned on going back to be with Grandpa until he passed, but Nate called and said he passed about 30mins after we left. I was said that I wasn't there, but glad Nate was with him.

Phew, what whirlwind the past couple weeks were! It was really hard that it was Christmas time too. It was hard to feel "in the spirit", but yet they would certainly want us to celebrate their lives and celebrate the birth of Jesus. We were able to have a double visitation and a double funeral. My mom and aunts worked so hard getting all the pictures together and and everything. I couldn't believe we were burrying them together, but then again, I had a feeling when Grandma had her stroke that they would go together. 65 years of marriage, they did everything together, and just wasn't about to go to Heaven without doing it together! Pretty amazing.

I end my marathon blog post with Grandpa's "signature" verse. It really was too, anything we EVER got from them, cards, a bible, devotionals, or just a note to say hello, he always signed his name and underneath his name wrote Pov 3: 5,6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight". I will always love you Grandma Nita and Papa Bob and look forward to the day we see each other again.